randomness.

lots of big storms here lately.
huge.
the kind of thunder that rumbles your insides.
love it.



it produces humidity hair though,
as the temps have hit around 120 degrees with the heat index factored in.
don't love that.




my boys...
they are so fun.
even though they are squirmy and fidgety and ready for routine.
love them.



isaiah played in a golf tournament today,
placed second.
so proud.
love that.

it's really kind of simple.

i love you.
i just want to love you better.
the end.

my new life's goal.

---

i don't agree with everything tom davis says,
and wouldn't even call myself a fan, really...
but this is so spot on with how i have been feeling, i had to share.

"I've decided that if I'm going to have solidarity with one failed religion, I might as well have solidarity with them all. So rather than surrendering my identity as a Christian, I've redefined it so it doesn't mean that I feel superior to anybody. Instead, it means that as a failed member of a failed religion, and I'm in solidarity with all other failed members of failed religions ... and with people who have dropped out of failed religions as well. Perhaps it's this truly catholic (small-c) solidarity in failure that really counts most, for Catholics, Protestants, and everybody else. Those who leave religion and those who stay can work to expand that gracious space of solidarity, which, I think, is what Jesus called "the kingdom of God."
So no matter what we do or what we call ourselves, sooner or later that group will break down.

Yes, my paradigm is blown from what I though Christianity was growing up. I was taught that being a Christian meant going to church on Sunday, singing a few hymns, and listening to a preacher for an hour. That was it. I don't believe in that kind of Christianity anymore.

I am more committed to Jesus Christ and his teachings than ever before. I believe in following HIm and following Him means to live like he lived: caring for the poor, loving my neighbor, giving sacrificially to those in need, embodying compassion, living for justice, forgiving, etc. If that's what we were known for, nobody would really care what we called ourselves.
--tom davis

one month

we have officially been home just over a month.
much like my other kids,
the time has gone by so quickly,
it feels like just yesterday we were in Ethiopia,
but at the same time,
it is difficult to recall what life was like before bosena was a part of our family.

i suppose it is because she kind of always has been.

she is so much like us...
parts of each one of us.

she is sassy like her mama
strong like her daddy
mature like emily
witty like isaiah
patient like hannah
intelligent like micah
competitive like brody

she was chosen for our family... so, so perfect.

a friendly game

we have entered a new phase here.
we are seeing the more defiant side of our six year old..
and i am pleased.
annoyed.
but pleased.

she says no to me more times a day than most 2 year olds... but i figure she has 6 years of no's to make up for...

and she is beginning to understand that she has a tough mom...
and that i don't give in too easily.

becoming more a part of our family every day...
so blessed, we are.

the many faces of bosena

 

 

 

 

a funny sequence

for someone who pretends to hate the camera,
she sure is a ham when i don't want her to be!

 

 

 

 

micah's party...

 

 

 

 

Happy 7th Birthday Micah!

today our sweet micah turns 7!
so hard to believe...
love him.
much. :)

i didn't used to like cheap ice cream.

not really sure i even know how to blog anymore.
it has been a long time since i put my heart out in words.

there has been much.
much that has changed me, much that doesn't need to be shared,
much that does.

i realized last night,
that i get all jumbled up in my head when i don't write things down...
not shopping or to do lists,
but my heart.

so i am going to try to get back there,
the place where words flow freely, and don't get stuck.

the fact is,
i am different than i was.

these last few months have changed me... not the obvious, like, i have a new daughter.
but the spirit kind, like, am i really who i thought i was? or was this experience what i had imagined it to be?

the answer to both of those is yes and no.

our time in Ethiopia was incredible,
i love it there... my family is there.

i was living second to second for a time though, and that is draining.

was i sad to leave? yes.

but upon returning home, i feel a sort of need to hunker down and protect.
and i am feeling guilt from this.
like i should be doing more. for water, for anyone in need, for the widowed, the orphaned.
it is never enough.
and i am feeling the weight of that these days.

last night around midnight,
i went to the freezer, to get a bowl of chocolate brownie ice cream, and found myself excited about the blue bunny.
it wasn't ben and jerry's, it wasn't even bryers.
it was the cheapest of cheap,
and i was thrilled.

i spent the next two hours pondering what that really means, in my head, and in my heart.

because i am different now than i was.

i didn't used to like cheap ice cream.

oh happy day

my kids are amazing.

this girl had been so great with bosena...
teaching her so many things,
sharing everything,
waiting at the table until she is finished eating,
just being a great big sister.

and i am not surprised.
she is pretty incredible.




and these kids...
treating her like the Queen of Sheba

and brody too,
even though he is not pictured,
is currently singing a song...
"i just love you Bosena, i just love you Bosena!"




and even this old boy
is tolerating being carried around by his new owner...
although i imagine that is short lived.
we might have to invest in a kitten.

so far so good

we are doing well so far...
been to the aquatic center 3 times,
out to eat at the chart house,
friends over to bbq,
to the park,
and a 3D movie...
in less than a week.

and she still looks like this:



we are blessed indeed.

i AM planning on documenting some of our trip...
but i still need a little distance from it.
too fresh.
still makes my stomach turn.
some day.
i promise.

in other news...
good, good friends are moving away today.
and i don't know how to feel,
so i am apparently choosing to block it out.
it sucks.
and i don't know what i will do without them.
but they are only 13 hours away,
so i may be there a lot.

this makes me laugh...

the last three nights,
i have had the same dream.
i am in the woods, with different people everytime, but i see a huge grizzly bear in the near distance, she sees us, and begins chasing us.
i turn and walk slowly away.. breathing heavy, but not running.
she follows, close.
then i wake up.

i looked it up...
here is what i found:

"To dream that you are being pursued or attacked by a bear, denotes aggression, overwhelming obstacles and competition. You may find yourself in a threatening situation."

really?
no kidding.

home.

home sweet home :)
wireless internet is out... will post more when we get a new router... just know we are beyond happy to be home.
blessings friends

Amy and Bosena

A photo of Amy with her daughter...

Hello all,
Cassie here. Wanted to get this photo up of Amy with Bosena on "metcha day". Without sharing too many details, she is asking for prayer. Please be praying that all meetings go quickly and smoothly and that Bosena's visa is granted in the next 24 hours. She and Steve are anxious to bring her home and covet your prayers during this time.
Thanks.

A day late...sorry amy!!

we are here :)
the planes were long, and rushed, and we had to run to make connections,
but we made it, along with the bags.

it is amazing to be with people who look like my daughter.
there are no words to describe it.

ethiopia is more beautiful than i had imagined
it smells of spices, and insense...
it was raining lightly, mid fifties, when we arrived...
'
tomorrow morning we head to church,
oh how i cannot wait to worship here.

will try to post more tomorrow.

(amy sent this to me to post yesterday and i was out of town. but still thought she might want it on here for documentation!! love you guys...praying you home!)

father's day in ethiopia

not sure if this will work...
but i am giving it a shot.

first of all,
happy father's day to my dad, and steve's dad :)

we love it here...
the people, the streets, the sounds, the smells...
it is home.

this morning we got up and went to church,
then had the priveledge of taking photos for our new friend ashlie, as she met her son for the first time...
it was such a gift to us.
i will remember it always.

we are getting ready to go down and meet clarah's birth mother...
we didn't think that they would have enough time to get her here, but they did, and i am so looking foward to being able to have this meeting, and share it with clarah later...
another gift.

still a bit surreal, that we are here, and actually get to leave with our daughter...
but the excitement is mounting.
22 hours and counting. :)

we r out.

woke up this morning to the phone....
a call that we were cleared to travel,
this weekend.

i spent the better part of the day on the phone with the travel agent, and arranging pick up, drop off, fill in, and travel for the kids...
nana is going to be here,
which is huge.
takes a lot of stress off.

well, we couldn't get the flights booked for saturday.
so we booked for friday.

we are leaving less than two days from now.
yikes.

if you are local, and want to send over donations with us...
we would greatly appreciate it :)
as would our agency, and the orphanages in Addis.
we are collecting:
scrubs, new or gently used
diapers (any size)
and wipes
lollipops (dum dums, or tootsie pops)
small packs of gum (like the 5 piece packs)... one of our drivers runs an org. for homeless boys, and this is what they sell on the streets
shoe polish (for the boys as well)

okay.
now for my lists.
and packing.
and putting clarah's bed together...

too much

i haven't been blogging.
it's not because i have nothing going on,
or no pictures to post.

it's not because i have no words.

it's because i have too many.

my life right now is full of change.
positive and negative.
ebb and flow.
bittersweet.

and i am just not ready for the floodgates to open.