M & M's

This morning, like all Friday mornings, Micah was running around the house, trying to find an item to bring for show and tell. We were running a bit behind schedule, so I was buckling Brody in to the car when Micah arrived with his selection.
Micah: Okay Mom, I got it. I'm gonna bring this turtle that the head goes back in on, you know like a peeking turtle when you have to poop.
Me: WHAT? WHERE DID YOU HEAR THAT FROM??
Micah: Dad told me. You know, when you have to poop, but only a little comes out and then goes back in... it's called a peeking turtle.
Me: Micah that is GROSS, and you can't talk about that at preschool.
Micah: (sounding defeated) Okay. But can I at least tell them his name?
Me: Sure, wait, what IS his name?
Micah: Lard Butt.
Me: WHAT? WHERE DID YOU HEAR THAT FROM??
Micah: Isaiah. He said that's his name.
Me: NO. You absolutely cannot tell your friends at preschool that name. You will have to come up with a new name.
Micah: (sounding defeated again) Okay. His name is Micah McDonald's Trailer.
Me: What? Why trailer?
Micah: You know, the place poor people live.
Me: Okay, please don't go into detail about the turtle. Just say it is your toy turtle, okay?
Micah: (still defeated) Okay Mom.