heading out of town this weekend,
with some friends,
to work on things for water.
hannah has a soccer game,
isaiah has a football game,
and i will miss both.
it makes me feel icky.
i should be there. i am their mom.
and then there is the adoption,
we are sacrificing so much to make it happen.
things we once participated in, we aren't.
and that is okay.
but i still wish i could give them everything,
and not have to sacrifice.
all of these things are weighing so heavy on me right now.
where is the balance?
are we doing the right thing?
is giving it all away REALLY the answer?
i think i know the answer, deep down.
but days like today,
i just feel icky.