hate this part.

feeling restless.
like there is so much i could be doing,
and i am stagnant.

feeling like the needs and wants
are all jumbled up.

constantly being reminded
that i could be more,
do more.

and i don't, i'm not.

maybe it has to do with summer.
maybe my age.
maybe my heart.

maybe trying to accept the grace
i have been given,
time and time again.

still so hard to wrap my head around that one.

why, lord,
am i here..
and they are not.

why was i given so much?

to whom much is given,
much is required,

and today,
i am struggling with that.