deep connection.

when we arrived at my parent's house, i didn't expect to feel the way i felt.
it was like coming home.
i know that sounds silly, given that it was my home,
but i am not the type person who generally feels deep connection to a place.
people, yes, but places, not often.

when i walked into the kitchen, and looked out the window,
the water, the smells,
my eyes welled up.

i have a deep connection to this place,
this place i called home for a time.

connection is good.
belonging is good.
feeling the water in your blood,
that is magic.

home.

steve and i flew to seattle on thursday night.
we were going to pick up a car that we purchased from my dad and maria.
the plan was to spend friday hitting some of the old haunts,
and leave saturday,
with a stop in centrailia to visit my sister and family.
hit the road from her house by noon.
spend saturday night near salt lake city, utah.
drive the rest of the way home on sunday.
plan was executed.
we arrived at 3:30am, monday morning... or sunday night
depending on your preference.
stories to come.
many, many stories.

what my father puts on his fridge...

sam i am.

micah begged.
so i gave in.
green eggs and ham for dinner.

falling

lately,
words seem to fall through me.

it is not that i have no thoughts
or even that i have nothing to say

i do.

but the words themselves
seem to just fall right through me.

why?

why is it so difficult
to get five kids
to all smile
at the same time?

coloring eggs.

reflecting.

i often think about what i want my kids to know.
what i really want them to take from steve and i.
not the obvious,
but the details.

today, while i was thinking on these things,
i realized it boiled down to one thing,
as my kids grow older,
and enter their teen years.

i want my boys to know
that i was the first woman
to ever fall in love with them.

and i want my girls to know
that their dad was the first man
to ever fall in love with them.

maybe it's selfish.
it is what it is.

and it's my heart.

this is me, trying.

i am seriously trying to make my eyes look as big as micah's.
and he is simply looking at the camera.

first baseball scrimmage of the year...

saturday marked the first scrimmage of the season.
two games.
it was so good to spend all day outside.

steve even got back in the hang of umpiring.
he was hoping if he didn't bring his gear,
that maybe they wouldn't need him...
but i think he was happy to be out on the field.

isaiah is number 10 this year.
pitching, third base, and outfield yesterday.
he was VERY sore.
but happy.

coolness.

˙ʎןsnoıɹǝs 'uɐǝɯ ı
¿ɹǝʌǝ ƃuıɥʇ ʍǝu ʇsǝןooɔ ǝɥʇ sıɥʇ sı
'ʇno ʇı ʞɔǝɥɔ os

i'm a sharpie.

so, last night i was at a meeting.
the kind of meeting where you have to add dates
to your calendar.
a planning meeting.

i was watching the women write things down
on their calendars.
they were writing with pencils.

erasing things when they changed their mind,
or when a date didn't work out.

and i looked at my calendar.
and my writing utensil.

a sharpie.
fine tip, but a sharpie non the less.

i guess i don't intend to erase much.
when i make a decision,
it is made.
there is no turning back,
unless of course you want to cross something out,
but that just ends up looking messy.

so, my calendar had stuff
scratched out, and written over,
arrows pointing to the date i meant to write something under.

messy.

i have decided calendars say a lot about people.
and i am okay
with using a sharpie.

more from sunday...

after the non-hunt, we headed over to the art museum.
the elementary schools in the district were having a mosaic display,
and were holding a reception for all the kids.


they looked really cool, all together.

steve and i were feeling like very responsible parents, taking our kids to the art museum and all...
so we decided to take the afternoon off.

emily was fine with hanging at home, since she had spent the night at a friend's house the night before.
so we headed to buffalo wild wings, and watched the mariner's game.
i guess we got a bit distracted.
we were talking, and watching, and well...
i got a text from emily that said,
uh... do you want me to put everyone to bed?

i looked at the clock.
it was 8pm.

uh, yah, that would be great em, we will be home in 45 minutes.

we suck as parents.

apparently april fool's day comes early here in iowa.

this is what we woke up to yesterday morning.
i don't think it's really all that funny.

and we were supposed to go to an easter egg hunt, for steve's work, in the park.
but there was too much snow.
so the easter bunny just handed out bags of stuff.
nice.

micah said, sweet... it's like getting a free point!
when i asked him what that meant he said,
you know when you are playing a game on the computer, and you don't do anything, but they give you a free point, it's just like that!

yah.
except that's not how it is supposed to be.
easter egg hunts are supposed to be warm, and done in flip flops and sun dresses.
not snow boots.

water

like the sound of the waves serves as white noise so often,
so does water in my mind.
i cannot escape it.
everywhere i turn, everywhere i go,
no matter what i do.
water.
and to have none?
it is unfathomable.
and unfair.
and preventable.

it just takes everybody doing a little.
little sacrifices
add up to big sacrifices.
give water.
give people knowledge about the lack of water in liberia.
share what you know.
and give what you share.
give.
because you have.
to whom much is given, much is required.
it's such a simple thing.
but it means a life.
lives.
brothers and sisters, mothers and fathers,
daughters and sons.
give.
water4christmas.com

this just in from micah:

mom,

it's hard to think nothing.

unless you're dead.

sand is way better than snow.

except of course, when you get it in your eyes.
or you have to wash the suits and towels.
and the little boys,
whose hair will most likely have sand in it until next spring break.

3,296.

three thousand two hundred ninety six miles.

that is what we logged in 8 days.

that is a lot of togetherness.

and we all came home alive....

oh, and peeling. :)

yes we did.

we rode the tram, if you can call it that, to the top of the arch.
the view was great.

the line, however, was long, and hot.


walking back to the car for the drive home...
only a 5.5 hour drive ahead of us.
that's nothing.

day 8, friday.

after a morning swim,
and a trip to costco,
we went to see the st. louis arch.

i had never been to st. louis, and so i was very excited to visit.
it was another beautiful day.

day 7, thursday.

woke up.
swam.
got in the car.
drove.
12 hours to st. louis.
arrived in the hotel...
which happened to be across the street from a costco (a dream come true for steve)
at 10:30 pm.

day 6, wednesday.

this was the day we were supposed to pack up and drive to new orleans, and up to spend the night in jackson, mississippi.
but it was a bit too perfect in alabama.

so we decided to stay another night instead.
it would make for a very long car ride on thursday...
but what's another long car ride?
seriously.

tuesday morning

a morning walk on the beach..
it was perfect.
that's all i can say.

day 5, tuesday.

when we arrived at our hotel in orange beach, it was dark, so we didn't really know what to expect, as far as where our room was in relation to things...
this is what we found when we awoke on tuesday morning.
right outside our sliding door.
amazing.

and this is the view back toward our room, from the beach path.
our room is the one on the lower left, with the red blanket hanging on the railing.
it could not have been more perfect.

day 4, monday.

monday, before we left tampa, we hit the florida aquarium.
it was a great way to begin another long day in the car.

they have a super cool outdoor water area, where the have all sorts of misters going. it was warm, and sunny, and hard to leave...

unless of course your name is emily.
she was not thrilled with the kiddie water area.

we spent another 8 hours driving,
and pulled into our hotel in orange beach, alabama at around 10:00pm central time.

day 3, sunday.

we had such a great time at the beach,
that we went back the next day.
even though it was over an hour away from our hotel.
totally worth it.




and here we have some very tired, very sunburned little people.
it has been a while since we have spent so much time in the sun.
it wore us all out.