Clearing the Air

in the blink of an eye

2011-02-23T11:54:00.002-06:00

my sweet baby boy who entered the world just before midnight on the 23rd (his daddy's baseball number) is a teenager.
my sweet baby boy who played baseball at 4 years old,
watched "i wonder how they really build roads" over and over.
my baby who wouldn't go a day without wearing his baseball cap for 2 years straight.
my little pacifier loving baby who carried around a blanket like linus.
my sweet baby boy who loves people with all that he is.

i am so, so proud of the man he is becoming before my eyes.
he is gentle, but strong.
an artist, and athletic.
a good leader and good listener.
he roots for the underdog, always.

happy 13th birthday my blue eyed baby boy Isaiah Cole,
you make me proud every single day.
i am honored to be your mom.
i love you son.

my kind of love

2011-02-14T09:24:00.001-06:00

i've been thinking on a few things these last couple of days.

if you haven't read crystal's story yet.. go read. www.182days.com
if you don't know steffany's heart... go read. www.toliveloveandlaughtoday.blogspot.com/

if you don't know my heart... please read.

i am passionate about love.

my greatest desire is to love people well.

it keeps me up at night.

if fuels my actions, my thoughts, my daily life.

i don't think about stuff much before i do things... i act.

i used to think this was a bad thing.

i don't anymore.

i am not the kind of person who says, "that sounds like a good idea, let me pray about it, i will get back to you."

i always wanted to be that kind.

but i'm not.

i read an analogy on a blog this morning that nailed it on the head.

i am the kind of person that stands in front of the mountain and screams at the top of my lungs, "MOVE!!!"

and when it doesn't, i grab a shovel and start moving it.

i have come to the conclusion, that i can't really feel bad about that.

it is who i am.

and maybe, instead of dwelling on what i am not, i should start passing out a few more shovels.

today is valentine's day.

a day when we are supposed to show love to those around us...

if you love me, act.

pick up your shovel.

move a mountain.

if you are in need of a mountain, i happen to know a good one.

donate at www.becauseeverymothermatters.com
and put crystal's name in the memo's.

she is a screamer like me.

our family 6 months out...

2011-01-12T15:55:00.000-06:00

clearly still as crazy as ever

let's do coffee

2011-01-10T08:15:00.005-06:00

i have been struggling with the particulars of this post for days.

i have been given the incredible opportunity to serve as photographer for the org. Because Every Mother Matters. I serve as the VP on the board of directors for them, and the things that my dear steffany has been able to accomplish are unreal.

i am supposed to leave on Feb. 28th, with the director of BEMM, steffany, the director of Delivering Hope jaime glandon, ICU nurse jodie herring, and a video guy named phillip.
we will be documenting and serving the people BEMM has come to love and admire. we will be visiting the center we are building with Doma, the women from the Sisterhood Project for Project Hopeful, The Orphans of Zeway with Funky Fish, a village in Assela through BEMM's partnership with MOPS International, and to serve those we come across who need our help.
By going...BEMM is able to continue to raise funds for several organizations.

but here's the rub,
i don't have the money.. in fact, neither steffany NOR i have the money.
we both have 6 kids, and are stay at home moms.
and i just returned from Ethiopia in June... after a very expensive process.

we need the tickets now.
and steffany is convinced that we can raise the money needed,
but i have to admit,
my confidence wains.

i struggle with asking for support.
why would anyone give me MORE money to go BACK to Ethiopia?
and the only reason i feel justified at all, is because it is not about me.
i look at all the mom's that BEMM has helped, the potential to help more, and have no excuse not to ask.

so here i am,
asking.

i was thinking this morning about what i do well,
and what it is,
in all honesty, is hang out, drink coffee, listen.
so here is what i am asking,
you don't have to donate a ton, or any for that matter, but if you want to...
just give coffee money.
five bucks.
and i promise that when i return, the next time, or the first time, or the millionth time we are together, i will buy YOUR coffee, and tell you how Ethiopia has changed me, what BEMM is doing to change lives.

you can donate on steffany's blog, there is a donate button on the right side that says, help BEMM get to africa.
find it here.

looking so forward to that cup with you.
thanks.

16

2011-01-07T11:54:00.000-06:00

the start of our 17th year of marriage...
i have done nothing this long,
not even live with a parent.
incredible really.

firsts...

2011-01-07T11:53:00.000-06:00

lost tooth

and turquoise boots

a good time had by all

2011-01-07T11:51:00.000-06:00

fun city

2011-01-07T11:50:00.000-06:00

christmas came and went

2011-01-07T11:49:00.000-06:00

to blog or not to blog

2010-12-15T13:37:00.003-06:00

i don't even know anymore.
i am busy, yes...
but that is not it.

i guess maybe i might be done feeling like i need to share who i am with the world.

maybe i am okay with you not knowing me.
not knowing my family.
not validating my every whim.

at least for today.

why not?

2010-11-08T08:59:00.002-06:00

it was past bedtime,
the kids had been in their beds for awhile,
and she walked in.

"mom, church, they say bring money for kids.. cups, plate, school books of their own. kids, have none mom."

"are you talking about bringing money for the kids in Liberia?"

"yes mom. they have none. i have dollars mom. i have 3 dollars. i bring it?"

"well honey, that is really nice, and you can bring some of your money next sunday, but you don't have to bring all your money."

"why mom?"

"well, you can keep some of your money, they aren't asking you to bring it all.. (and now realizing how terrible i sound) but if you want to bring all 3 dollars, of course you can, but it is your choice. the kids will get books if you bring just one."

"um... ok.... i bring all 3. thanks mom."

and off to bed she went.
i learn so much from her, every single day.

anyone who ever said she was the lucky one has no idea.

braces, and a haircut...

2010-11-05T08:55:00.000-05:00

and just like that,
my baby is all grown up.

family.

2010-11-05T08:54:00.000-05:00

notice the old man not playing along...
sometimes i think he is more like a 3 year old than an old man.

dinner cont.

2010-11-05T08:53:00.000-05:00

dinner

2010-11-05T08:52:00.000-05:00

a few favorites

2010-11-05T08:50:00.000-05:00

love.

2010-11-05T08:49:00.000-05:00

no words really,
except to say,
i love having them at my house.
they are familiar,
history,
security,
and love.

trick or treat!

2010-11-05T08:46:00.000-05:00

edward scissor hands deserves a post of his own.

2010-11-05T08:44:00.000-05:00

pumpkin carving

2010-11-05T08:43:00.001-05:00

this is a good story.
it was LATE into October, and i hadn't gone with the kids to get pumpkins yet.
i was sort of hoping to avoid it,
but knowing i couldn't.. as it would be another first for bosena.

early in the day i had been at the store, and realized that there weren't really any pumpkins left.
steve was out of town.
we were busy.
so, by late evening, i was kind of at a loss.
i told the kids to get their jammies on, and we would go pajama pumpkin picking.

i was nervous.
secretly praying that the local walmart had gotten a late shipment of pumpkins.

half of the kids were ready to go, the other half were slowly getting there,
and there was a knock at the door.

pumpkin claus showed up at our house.

not even kidding.

a friend, not knowing the pumpkin need we were in, decided to drop by and see if we had gotten our pumpkins yet, because he had a truck full.

the kids were stoked.
i was off the hook,
and once again, my belief in the decency of humans was restored.

some of my favorite people in october

2010-11-05T08:36:00.000-05:00

raw.

2010-10-14T09:19:00.003-05:00

i have been asked several times over the last three months,
how are YOU?
and to be honest, i haven't really stopped to explore how i really am.
i have been trudging through
one day at a time
sometimes hour by hour

don't get me wrong,
it has been an incredible three months,
but it has been work.
exhausting work.

i love my daughter fiercely.
and if i had asked myself six months ago, if i thought i would feel this deep attachment and love for her this quickly, i would have said no.
i can say it is a gift.

but it is also a burden.

it is really difficult to adopt an older child,
i knew this, i read all the books.
i was prepared to deal with her loss, her love, her devotion to her original home and family, and even her resentment of us, for taking her away...
now, she has not really reacted this way at all,
she talks about Ethiopia with love, and some hurt, but she generally seems grounded.

i was not prepared for MY emotions.

did we make the right decision taking her away from a mother who loved her so desperately?
would it have been better for her, if we just supported her mom, and her brother and sisters back in Ethiopia?
am i screwing her up by taking her away?

and if i am completely honest,
i sometimes look at families who have adopted babies and toddlers with a little bit of jealousy...
they are not hearing their daughter speak daily about her mom, about her sweet baby brother, about having no food.

it is like a scab that is continually being ripped off of a healing wound.

i love her so much. so deeply.
i cannot imagine a life without her in it, not a day, even.

but the truth is, i feel so selfish for taking her away from a beautiful land, and beautiful people who genuinely loved her too.

with joy there is pain.
and our adoption is no different i suppose.

school pictures...

2010-10-12T10:33:00.000-05:00

we didn't get photos of emily this year at the high school
for some reason they cost way more...
and she had to wear her bright yellow student council t-shirt that day,
so we figured it wasn't worth it.
i have lots of great photos of her, no need for a posed one from school.

so, hannah 5th grade, and isaiah 7th grade

micah 2nd grade, and bosena 1st grade

and brody kindergarten
(clearly they brushed his hair here... ugh. glad we cut it. :) )

ADOPTION T-SHIRTS

2010-10-08T10:20:00.001-05:00

so, we got these printed just a week before we left for Ethiopia.. not knowing we were going.
needless to say, i never posted them.
we sold them at our adoption concert benefit, but that was as far as i got.

they are printed on anvil unisex 100% preshrunk cotton.
they are true to size.
we have Small, Medium, Large, XL, and 2XL
$20 each, no tax.
send me an e-mail at: muscatineamy at hotmail.com, and i will confirm size before you pay me via paypal only (unless you are local, then i will take check or cash).

I designed the shirt, based on St. Francis' prayer:

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace,
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
where there is sadness, joy;

O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.

For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

she's gonna change the world..

2010-10-08T10:06:00.000-05:00

with her own two hands

broken.

2010-10-06T13:01:00.000-05:00

isaiah played his last football game of the season yesterday,
his last game as a 7th grader.
and his last game for awhile.

this is the moment that his shoulder broke.
literally.
the arm bone just under his shoulder broke all the way through, and was displaced.
the break is through his growth plate, so there is a possibility that his right arm will be shorter than his left.
there is a possiblity that he will need surgery to insert external pins to hold the bone in place while it heals.

and you know what?
he held on to the ball.
he stayed until the end of the game.
and he went to school today, after getting home from the university hospital at 2am.

i tried to tell him it was okay to stay home, to sleep, to decompress (pun inteneded).
but he wouldn't.

and now i am wondering how he is navigating three flights of stairs while on Percocet.
i love my boy so much.

six of my favorite people...

2010-10-01T17:36:00.000-05:00

"and then the fire!"

2010-09-27T12:42:00.000-05:00

she was happy :)

2010-09-27T12:40:00.000-05:00

happy 7th birthday bosena...

2010-09-26T02:18:00.001-05:00

she wanted a yellow cake with blue flowers...

so i spent six hours creating one

i spent the time thinking about our journey to her,
and what she may have been doing on birthdays past
if she even knew it was her birthday at all

i cannot wait to see her face in the morning.
she has been counting down the days
until she is seven

i am still awake at 2am,
feeling so thankful to share this day with a mom on the other side of the world

Homecoming 2010

2010-09-25T20:19:00.000-05:00

can someone please tell me when she started looking so grown up?

sometimes i forget

2010-09-24T09:16:00.002-05:00

we were talking this morning before school about her birthday on sunday.
she was telling me about the cake she wants,
and hitting the pinata.
then she said,

mom, stay here, six more, this house?

and it hit me.

because i forget
that she doesn't know safety
and consistency

no baby, you get to stay forever...

YES MOM! thanks!

and she was out the door to school.

H2Africa Run/Walk 2010

2010-09-20T09:13:00.002-05:00

we had the second annual run/walk for water on the muscatine riverfront saturday morning...
there were big storms in the area
lots of lightning,
but it didn't stop these people from coming out to support a great cause!

and what a blessing it is
that my daughter shares the same passions that i do

lots of merchandise :)

and beautiful volunteers

all in all, wet, cold, and lacking in numbers...
but guess what?
families in africa will have clean water, that didn't before.
and that is what matters.

that is the goal.

clean, safe, drinkable water.

learn more here.

humpty dumpty....

2010-09-14T08:07:00.001-05:00

micah took a little spill last night off of his scooter
just in time for thursday,
picture day.

happy sunday!

2010-09-12T09:55:00.000-05:00

no words.

2010-09-08T21:04:00.000-05:00

i have no words to describe how i feel about each and every person in this photograph,
except to say
they make my life full.
oh how i love them.

related?

2010-09-08T21:03:00.000-05:00

emily and her aunt lori's feet...
i tell her all the time that her feet look just like lori's,
lori couldn't believe it either
they are definitely related :)

more hiking

2010-09-08T21:01:00.000-05:00

labor day...

2010-09-08T20:59:00.000-05:00

a beautiful day for a hike,
with beautiful people

more from day 3

2010-09-08T20:57:00.000-05:00

day 3 in colorado

2010-09-08T20:56:00.000-05:00

water fun

2010-09-08T20:53:00.000-05:00

Manitou Springs

2010-09-08T20:52:00.000-05:00

more from the garden...

2010-09-08T20:51:00.000-05:00

Garden of the Gods

2010-09-08T20:50:00.000-05:00

friends from ethiopia :)

2010-09-08T20:48:00.000-05:00

this amazing family drove HOURS to come visit us at the park...
they are a gift.

dinner!

2010-09-08T20:47:00.000-05:00

r & r

2010-09-08T20:45:00.000-05:00

day one in the springs

2010-09-08T20:44:00.000-05:00

we are so blessed to have such an amazing family...
lori, josh, jj, ben, and mckenzee made us feel right at home

this is sooo micah

2010-09-01T08:36:00.001-05:00

i love this.
it embodies how he thinks.
the entire rest of the paper is done with a pencil, and then this problem.
and micah,
he takes it to another level,
like he does with everything.

we are so blessed to parent this boy, so, so blessed.

there is just something about it.

2010-09-01T08:32:00.002-05:00

kierstin, her children, and her dogs, stopped by for a couple of days on the way home from an epic road trip.
it was so good to see her again... it has been five years, longer even, the the amount of time we lived in the same town.

there is just something about being around old friends,
the people who knew you back when there were no pretenses.
it is real.
i love it.
i love her.
so glad they stopped by.

so... i got a new baby :)

2010-08-27T10:00:00.000-05:00

meet ambo
she is about 10 weeks old...
and we love her

so, so sweet

2010-08-27T09:59:00.000-05:00

my baby is gone...

2010-08-27T09:57:00.000-05:00

first day!

2010-08-25T09:27:00.002-05:00

isaiah, 7th grade
emily, FRESHMAN

micah, 2nd grade
brody, kindergarten
hannah 5th grade
bosena 1st grade

back 2 school night

2010-08-25T09:19:00.002-05:00

last night was back to school night at the elementary and high school (although emily didn't allow me to follow her around with the camera)

we have 4 kids at the elementary school this year...
all day bosena was telling me that she didn't want to go to school.
the time came to leave, and she reluctantly got her things together.

once we were there, however, she LOVED it...
and running into great friends helped too.

we are so blessed to live in a community where we KNOW people,
not just see them around.

brody was brave, and happy to find his cubbie... he will do so well to have some independence, from me.. AND from his siblings :)
micah was cracking jokes with his teacher,
and hannah was SOOO excited to find that her best friend would be in her class again

when we got into the car to leave,
bosena asked me if she was going to school tomorrow..
i said yes.
she said,
"good mom, i love school."

so behind.

2010-08-23T11:04:00.002-05:00

i feel like i am so behind.
school begins wednesday.

supplies have been purchased,
outfits picked out,
new shoes ready...

but for some reason i don't feel ready.

aha!

i think it is not so much me feeling like i can't "get" ready,
as the fact that i am not ready.

i am sending all of my babies to school this year,
all day.

all six of them.

this will be the first time in 15 years i have not had little people under foot all day.

i kinda thought i would be thrilled.

but for some reason, i keep feeling behind, not ready.

physically i am there.
mentally, not so much.

progress and worry

2010-08-18T16:27:00.002-05:00

today was a good day in the progress department.

first, emily passed the written portion of the driving test...
and now has a permit.

ugh.

well, not really... i am actually super excited about her driving. :)

when we returned from the test,
the other children proceeded to tell me how horrible bosena was while we were gone.
that she was mad when her turn was up on the laptop,
and pouted and whined the rest of the time.
and,
it was true... she was pouting.

so i asked her to go to her room.

a couple minutes later, i went back there, sat beside her, and asked her what the problem was.
thru tears she explained that she felt like she didn't get as long a turn as everyone else, and they just took it from her.
i let her know that everyone gets the same amount of time, and she would get another turn... i asked her if she understood, she nodded.
then i asked if she needed a hug, and she nodded, climbed in my lap, and let me hug her for a bit.

for us, this is huge.
she is NOT very affectionate at all... so progress. :)

school begins next week,
and while i know she will do fine...
i worry.

i worry that she will be coddled, and babied...
which you would think i would want, but i SO don't.

she craves to be treated like everyone else,
needs to be.
and i don't want the last two months of work we have done to be in vain.

she needs the independence,
but she also needs to know who the boss is.
it's complicated.
and new.
and i hate those things.

we will figure it out... and she will be fine...
but ugh.

just like her papa

2010-08-16T21:42:00.000-05:00

we love my dad,
but he hikes his pants up way too high.

clearly, she is just like her papa.

and look who we ran into!

2010-08-16T21:40:00.000-05:00

clearly all the cool people were hiking today...

a hike.

2010-08-16T21:39:00.000-05:00

today the weather was absolutely perfect, so i packed up some provisions, and took the kids on a hike.

bosena DID begin the hike by asking me if there were lions sleeping in the woods.
and when i said no, she said, tigers?
and when i said no, she said, monkeys?
and when i said no, she relaxed a bit. :)

yep. they love me.

2010-08-16T21:36:00.001-05:00

and, now she holds frogs.

2010-08-16T21:34:00.000-05:00

me and a couple of my faves

2010-08-16T21:33:00.000-05:00

she DOES love the water!

2010-08-16T21:31:00.000-05:00

a good day for sure!

2010-08-16T21:29:00.000-05:00

more picnic

2010-08-16T21:28:00.000-05:00

HNI picnic

2010-08-16T21:26:00.000-05:00

randomness.

2010-08-13T19:26:00.003-05:00

lots of big storms here lately.
huge.
the kind of thunder that rumbles your insides.
love it.

it produces humidity hair though,
as the temps have hit around 120 degrees with the heat index factored in.
don't love that.

my boys...
they are so fun.
even though they are squirmy and fidgety and ready for routine.
love them.

isaiah played in a golf tournament today,
placed second.
so proud.
love that.

it's really kind of simple.

2010-08-08T16:36:00.002-05:00

i love you.
i just want to love you better.
the end.

my new life's goal.

---

2010-08-04T10:47:00.002-05:00

i don't agree with everything tom davis says,
and wouldn't even call myself a fan, really...
but this is so spot on with how i have been feeling, i had to share.

"I've decided that if I'm going to have solidarity with one failed religion, I might as well have solidarity with them all. So rather than surrendering my identity as a Christian, I've redefined it so it doesn't mean that I feel superior to anybody. Instead, it means that as a failed member of a failed religion, and I'm in solidarity with all other failed members of failed religions ... and with people who have dropped out of failed religions as well. Perhaps it's this truly catholic (small-c) solidarity in failure that really counts most, for Catholics, Protestants, and everybody else. Those who leave religion and those who stay can work to expand that gracious space of solidarity, which, I think, is what Jesus called "the kingdom of God."
So no matter what we do or what we call ourselves, sooner or later that group will break down.

Yes, my paradigm is blown from what I though Christianity was growing up. I was taught that being a Christian meant going to church on Sunday, singing a few hymns, and listening to a preacher for an hour. That was it. I don't believe in that kind of Christianity anymore.

I am more committed to Jesus Christ and his teachings than ever before. I believe in following HIm and following Him means to live like he lived: caring for the poor, loving my neighbor, giving sacrificially to those in need, embodying compassion, living for justice, forgiving, etc. If that's what we were known for, nobody would really care what we called ourselves.
--tom davis

one month

2010-08-03T23:50:00.002-05:00

we have officially been home just over a month.
much like my other kids,
the time has gone by so quickly,
it feels like just yesterday we were in Ethiopia,
but at the same time,
it is difficult to recall what life was like before bosena was a part of our family.

i suppose it is because she kind of always has been.

she is so much like us...
parts of each one of us.

she is sassy like her mama
strong like her daddy
mature like emily
witty like isaiah
patient like hannah
intelligent like micah
competitive like brody

she was chosen for our family... so, so perfect.

a friendly game

2010-07-26T16:50:00.002-05:00

we have entered a new phase here.
we are seeing the more defiant side of our six year old..
and i am pleased.
annoyed.
but pleased.

she says no to me more times a day than most 2 year olds... but i figure she has 6 years of no's to make up for...

and she is beginning to understand that she has a tough mom...
and that i don't give in too easily.

becoming more a part of our family every day...
so blessed, we are.

the many faces of bosena

2010-07-22T10:24:00.000-05:00

a funny sequence

2010-07-22T10:21:00.000-05:00

for someone who pretends to hate the camera,
she sure is a ham when i don't want her to be!

micah's party...

2010-07-22T10:18:00.000-05:00

Happy 7th Birthday Micah!

2010-07-17T10:37:00.001-05:00

today our sweet micah turns 7!
so hard to believe...
love him.
much. :)

i didn't used to like cheap ice cream.

2010-07-14T09:50:00.002-05:00

not really sure i even know how to blog anymore.
it has been a long time since i put my heart out in words.

there has been much.
much that has changed me, much that doesn't need to be shared,
much that does.

i realized last night,
that i get all jumbled up in my head when i don't write things down...
not shopping or to do lists,
but my heart.

so i am going to try to get back there,
the place where words flow freely, and don't get stuck.

the fact is,
i am different than i was.

these last few months have changed me... not the obvious, like, i have a new daughter.
but the spirit kind, like, am i really who i thought i was? or was this experience what i had imagined it to be?

the answer to both of those is yes and no.

our time in Ethiopia was incredible,
i love it there... my family is there.

i was living second to second for a time though, and that is draining.

was i sad to leave? yes.

but upon returning home, i feel a sort of need to hunker down and protect.
and i am feeling guilt from this.
like i should be doing more. for water, for anyone in need, for the widowed, the orphaned.
it is never enough.
and i am feeling the weight of that these days.

last night around midnight,
i went to the freezer, to get a bowl of chocolate brownie ice cream, and found myself excited about the blue bunny.
it wasn't ben and jerry's, it wasn't even bryers.
it was the cheapest of cheap,
and i was thrilled.

i spent the next two hours pondering what that really means, in my head, and in my heart.

because i am different now than i was.

i didn't used to like cheap ice cream.

oh happy day

2010-07-09T09:21:00.000-05:00

my kids are amazing.

2010-07-07T10:47:00.002-05:00

this girl had been so great with bosena...
teaching her so many things,
sharing everything,
waiting at the table until she is finished eating,
just being a great big sister.

and i am not surprised.
she is pretty incredible.

and these kids...
treating her like the Queen of Sheba

and brody too,
even though he is not pictured,
is currently singing a song...
"i just love you Bosena, i just love you Bosena!"

and even this old boy
is tolerating being carried around by his new owner...
although i imagine that is short lived.
we might have to invest in a kitten.

so far so good

2010-07-06T13:28:00.002-05:00

we are doing well so far...
been to the aquatic center 3 times,
out to eat at the chart house,
friends over to bbq,
to the park,
and a 3D movie...
in less than a week.

and she still looks like this:

we are blessed indeed.

i AM planning on documenting some of our trip...
but i still need a little distance from it.
too fresh.
still makes my stomach turn.
some day.
i promise.

in other news...
good, good friends are moving away today.
and i don't know how to feel,
so i am apparently choosing to block it out.
it sucks.
and i don't know what i will do without them.
but they are only 13 hours away,
so i may be there a lot.

this makes me laugh...

2010-07-02T09:21:00.002-05:00

the last three nights,
i have had the same dream.
i am in the woods, with different people everytime, but i see a huge grizzly bear in the near distance, she sees us, and begins chasing us.
i turn and walk slowly away.. breathing heavy, but not running.
she follows, close.
then i wake up.

i looked it up...
here is what i found:

"To dream that you are being pursued or attacked by a bear, denotes aggression, overwhelming obstacles and competition. You may find yourself in a threatening situation."

really?
no kidding.

home.

2010-07-02T08:56:00.002-05:00

home sweet home :)
wireless internet is out... will post more when we get a new router... just know we are beyond happy to be home.
blessings friends

Amy and Bosena

2010-06-24T08:09:00.002-05:00

A photo of Amy with her daughter...

Hello all,
Cassie here. Wanted to get this photo up of Amy with Bosena on "metcha day". Without sharing too many details, she is asking for prayer. Please be praying that all meetings go quickly and smoothly and that Bosena's visa is granted in the next 24 hours. She and Steve are anxious to bring her home and covet your prayers during this time.
Thanks.

A day late...sorry amy!!

2010-06-20T14:34:00.001-05:00

we are here :)
the planes were long, and rushed, and we had to run to make connections,
but we made it, along with the bags.

it is amazing to be with people who look like my daughter.
there are no words to describe it.

ethiopia is more beautiful than i had imagined
it smells of spices, and insense...
it was raining lightly, mid fifties, when we arrived...
'
tomorrow morning we head to church,
oh how i cannot wait to worship here.

will try to post more tomorrow.

(amy sent this to me to post yesterday and i was out of town. but still thought she might want it on here for documentation!! love you guys...praying you home!)

father's day in ethiopia

2010-06-20T07:47:00.002-05:00

not sure if this will work...
but i am giving it a shot.

first of all,
happy father's day to my dad, and steve's dad :)

we love it here...
the people, the streets, the sounds, the smells...
it is home.

this morning we got up and went to church,
then had the priveledge of taking photos for our new friend ashlie, as she met her son for the first time...
it was such a gift to us.
i will remember it always.

we are getting ready to go down and meet clarah's birth mother...
we didn't think that they would have enough time to get her here, but they did, and i am so looking foward to being able to have this meeting, and share it with clarah later...
another gift.

still a bit surreal, that we are here, and actually get to leave with our daughter...
but the excitement is mounting.
22 hours and counting. :)

we r out.

2010-06-17T00:55:00.003-05:00

woke up this morning to the phone....
a call that we were cleared to travel,
this weekend.

i spent the better part of the day on the phone with the travel agent, and arranging pick up, drop off, fill in, and travel for the kids...
nana is going to be here,
which is huge.
takes a lot of stress off.

well, we couldn't get the flights booked for saturday.
so we booked for friday.

we are leaving less than two days from now.
yikes.

if you are local, and want to send over donations with us...
we would greatly appreciate it :)
as would our agency, and the orphanages in Addis.
we are collecting:
scrubs, new or gently used
diapers (any size)
and wipes
lollipops (dum dums, or tootsie pops)
small packs of gum (like the 5 piece packs)... one of our drivers runs an org. for homeless boys, and this is what they sell on the streets
shoe polish (for the boys as well)

okay.
now for my lists.
and packing.
and putting clarah's bed together...

too much

2010-06-04T07:49:00.003-05:00

i haven't been blogging.
it's not because i have nothing going on,
or no pictures to post.

it's not because i have no words.

it's because i have too many.

my life right now is full of change.
positive and negative.
ebb and flow.
bittersweet.

and i am just not ready for the floodgates to open.

and an update :)

2010-05-30T13:48:00.000-05:00

may update photos of
clarah bosena smith

and more water stuff...

2010-05-30T13:44:00.002-05:00

west middle school held another talent show for water
the talent was amazing,
and the kids gave.

we are so blessed to be a part of a community that teaches kids about the world around them.

fifteen hundred dollars was raised in one day.
amazing.

last week...

2010-05-30T13:42:00.001-05:00

i am so behind on here..
last week brody graduated from preschool.
i wasn't sad.
but i will be in a couple of months when he gets on that school bus for ther first time

overwhelmed... in a good way

2010-05-26T09:48:00.002-05:00

sunday afternoon we had a benefit concert and picnic in the backyard of ours, and our neighbor's house...
i haven't posted about it yet,
because i am so overwhelemd by the support of our family and friends.

first of all, our neighbors, for coming along side of us, for championing our cause as if it was their own, for being Jesus, to us, and to Clarah.

and to these guys, who gave up their day, their pay, their comfort, their families, to come and play... we are forever grateful to the best band ever assembled. ALP

and our family and friends, who gave so much,
so well,
so deep.
we feel your love.

i really don't have the words to express what my heart feels when i think about sunday, when i think about all the people who have given before sunday...
we are blessed.
clarah is blessed.

thank you.
from all that is within me.

a WATER opportunity :)

2010-05-26T08:05:00.001-05:00

(straight from our fearless leader)
We are looking for a group. A big group of people to Walk so that our brothers and sisters in West Africa don’t have to.

So they don’t have to walk miles every day…to collect water…often contaminated water. We want to free children up to attend school rather than walk everyday to find water for their families. We want women to be able to earn a living and learn a trade rather than spending their days walking for water. We want mothers to be able to provide the life-giving substance of water to their children…water that does not harm and does not kill their children.

We want people to know. To be aware. Of the need for clean water that plaques 1 billion people worldwide.

And we want them to know that it doesn’t have to be that way.

So we are walking. In a way hoping that eventually those around the world won’t have to.

July 24th is the Quad City Bix.

We will be walking it together. Carrying jerry cans. (Most likely empty jerry cans. If you want to actually fill yours with water…you might want to bring your own personal medic).

T-shirts will be available as well.

We would love to have as many people as possible join us.

It will be fun. And it could be a very powerful image to bring awareness to our community.

So here’s how to join us:

1. Sign up for the Bix on your own here: https://secure.townnews.com/bix7.com/secure/2010/

Do it soon. The cost goes up after June 1. ($30 before June 1).

2. Once you have done that, send Angie an email to let her know you will be joining us. angelicamhunter@gmail.com

She’ll get you the rest of the info.

it's a girl...

2010-05-24T09:27:00.002-05:00

we got a suprise phone call this morning... we passed court :)
more words later... for now...
our daughter.

Make video montages at www.OneTrueMedia.com

didn't pass.

2010-05-21T10:31:00.002-05:00

didn't pass court today... again.

there is a slim chance we could on monday,
but if not,
our next court date is
June 8th.

i am so done with this.

let them eat cake :)

2010-05-20T19:12:00.000-05:00

happy birthday brody

2010-05-20T18:53:00.001-05:00

yesterday was brody's birthday...
and i didn't post.

he is five.
a whole hand.

and he is my baby.
i love him.

happy 14th birthday emily christine :)

2010-05-13T15:52:00.002-05:00

my oldest baby is 14 today...
a driver's permit to come.

so adorable at the beach... she always has loved the ocean

could not be more proud of the woman you are becoming emily...
even if you are a little bit too much like your mama. :)

happy 10th birthday sweet hannah grace :)

2010-05-12T11:34:00.002-05:00

oh how i love this girl..
best baby ever.
learned to walk at 8 months.
sleeping in a big bed at 11 months.
and so, so sweet

she still has the same expression when she is happy :)

turning into such a beautiful young lady...
so, so proud of you hannah girl :)
we love you.
happy birthday

didn't pass.

2010-05-10T10:05:00.001-05:00

we didn't pass court today.

i was not surprised,
but the disappointment is still there.

we have a second court date scheduled
for May 21st.

a new countdown begins...